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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
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John Hughes Dead

John Hughes, director of The Breakfast Club and Ferris Bueller's Day Off, died suddenly at 59. What do you think?
  • "This is probably just an elaborate ruse perpetrated by his daughter's smooth-talking boyfriend to get her out of school for the day."

    Carl Johnson Systems Analyst
  • "R.I.P. John Hughes, poet of teens who grew up in upscale Chicago suburbs, wore Benetton and Swatches, and danced in their rooms to the Psychedelic Furs as their parents neglected them."

    Allison Clark Foreign Tour Guide
  • "His movies defined my youth. Rot in hell John Hughes!"

    John Standish Mica Patcher

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