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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Area Man Unsure If He’s Male-Bonding Or Being Bullied

Perplexed local man Russell Chambliss has no idea if the coworkers seated with him at Malone’s Irish Tavern are attempting to forge a male bond with him or cruelly harassing him, the 26-year-old shipping clerk told reporters Wednesday evening.

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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John Hughes Dead

John Hughes, director of The Breakfast Club and Ferris Bueller's Day Off, died suddenly at 59. What do you think?
  • "This is probably just an elaborate ruse perpetrated by his daughter's smooth-talking boyfriend to get her out of school for the day."

    Carl Johnson Systems Analyst
  • "R.I.P. John Hughes, poet of teens who grew up in upscale Chicago suburbs, wore Benetton and Swatches, and danced in their rooms to the Psychedelic Furs as their parents neglected them."

    Allison Clark Foreign Tour Guide
  • "His movies defined my youth. Rot in hell John Hughes!"

    John Standish Mica Patcher

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