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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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John Lennon's Murderer Denied Parole

For the seventh time in 12 years, Mark David Chapman, the man who shot John Lennon dead outside the music legend’s New York City apartment building in 1980, was denied parole by the New York Department of Corrections. What do you think?

  • “Gosh, those corrections officers must really have something against murderers.”

    Saul Petzoldt Test Baker
  • “I think if John Lennon were alive today, he’d say they should let Chapman go free. But that would mean he would never have been murdered in the first place, so you see how complicated it gets when you’re dealing with time travel.”

    Carrie Ramos Systems Analyst
  • “He’d be free by now if he’d taken out Ringo.”

    Curt Fey Musical String Maker
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