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‘Star Wars’ Turns 40

When George Lucas’ Star Wars premiered in 1977, the movie quickly became a phenomenon. On its 40th anniversary, The Onion looks back on the franchise’s defining moments:

Ringo Starr Announces 26th Beatles Album With New Backing Band

‘Moonbeam Sunday’ Slated For Release On June 16

LONDON—Excitedly informing fans that the iconic pop group was back with more original music, Ringo Starr announced Tuesday that on June 16 he would be releasing a 26th Beatles album titled ‘Moonbeam Sunday’ with an all-new backing band.
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Jonas Brothers Film Underperforms

Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience opened this weekend with only $12.7 million at the box office, far less than analysts had expected. What do you think?
  • "This isn't exactly the first time the Jonas Brothers have 'underperformed,' if you know what I'm saying. I had sex with the Jonas Brothers. Every last one!"

    Becca Robinson Unemployed
  • “They probably didn’t extend their arms toward the camera enough. That’s pretty much the main reason why people go see 3-D movies.”

    Ian Killeen Systems Analyst
  • “I was going to go. Then I remembered I was a middle-aged man crippled with responsibility.”

    Ron Keefe I.T. Specialist

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