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Man Holding Hands With Pregnant Woman Must Have Weird Fetish

RED BANK, NJ—Testing the limits of what even the most progressive onlookers considered publicly acceptable, a man was seen by multiple witnesses Tuesday holding hands with a visibly pregnant woman in what many could only interpret as the expression of a bizarre fetish.
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Judge Halts Embryonic Stem Cell Research

A judge issued a temporary injunction Monday that has cut off federal funding of research involving embryonic stem cells. What do you think?

  • "What's the big deal about saving these embryos? They're just going to be thrown away and then die like anyone else."

    Randy Callaway Unemployed
  • "You mean all this time I could have been getting federal funding for my stem cell research?"

    Tom Knighton Biologist
  • "Good, maybe now that paraplegic Anderson at work won't be so goddamned cocky anymore.”

    Louise Gipp Quality Assurance Agent

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