Judge Halts Embryonic Stem Cell Research

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Vol 46 Issue 34

AFC South

Jacksonville Jaguars Strength: With stalwart Aaron Kampman at defensive end, opponents will be forced to throw the ball at the Jaguar's weak secondary or run it through the soft middle of their line Weakness: Quarterback controversy between Luke McCown a...

AFC North

Now that the NFL season is upon us, staying informed is more important than ever. This in-depth Onion Sports guide places all the vital information about this years' teams at your fingertips. Don't watch a single game without this useful tool!

New WNBA Promotion Lets First 100 Fans Leave Early

NEW YORK—In an effort to increase attendance and reward the league's fans, WNBA president Donna Orender announced Wednesday that the first 100 ticket holders to arrive at the conference semifinal games would be allowed to leave extra early.
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Judge Halts Embryonic Stem Cell Research

A judge issued a temporary injunction Monday that has cut off federal funding of research involving embryonic stem cells. What do you think?

  • "What's the big deal about saving these embryos? They're just going to be thrown away and then die like anyone else."

    Randy Callaway
    Unemployed
  • "You mean all this time I could have been getting federal funding for my stem cell research?"

    Tom Knighton
    Biologist
  • "Good, maybe now that paraplegic Anderson at work won't be so goddamned cocky anymore.”

    Louise Gipp
    Quality Assurance Agent
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