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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Judge: Insane Clown Posse Juggalos Can Be Classified As Gang

A federal judge has thrown out a lawsuit brought by fans of the rap-rock group Insane Clown Posse that alleged being listed in a 2011 FBI report on gangs has led to unfair targeting by police, finding that the federal government was not responsible for how local authorities used a national report. What do you think?

  • “This decision is going to have huge ramifications all the way from Ortonville, Michigan to Dundee, Michigan.”

    Shelby Vance Volunteer Concierge
  • “Who knew gangsters were so litigious?”

    Alan Lapple Bear Mogul
  • “I hope this doesn’t lead to Juggalos being ostracized from mainstream society.”

    Ken Gunther Unemployed
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