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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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July Was Hottest Month Ever In U.S.

With an average temperature of 77.6 degrees throughout the contiguous United States, last month was officially the nation’s hottest on record, breaking the previous all-time high set in July 1936 during the height of the Dust Bowl. What do you think?

  • “Are we sure this isn’t just part of the earth’s natural cycle of heating up to unprecedented levels?”

    Luis Massalas Microfilm Processor
  • “If we’re able to keep shattering records like this, there’s no telling what our society can achieve.”

    Debbie Silvestri Ornamental Metal Worker
  • “Good, there’s a massive polar ice cap blocking my driveway, and I can’t wait until it melts.”

    Chase Villard Jeweler
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