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Justice Department Rejects Texas Voter ID Law

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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Justice Department Rejects Texas Voter ID Law

The U.S. Department of Justice blocked a Texas law requiring voters to present a state-issued photo ID before casting a ballot, saying it unfairly discriminated against Hispanics. What do you think?

  • "This law seems redundant, anyway. Can't Texans see for themselves without photo IDs which individuals are minorities who should be intimidated from going to the polls?"

    Kathy Wakeling Sterilizer
  • "I agree. The sensitive, melancholic constitution of the Hispanic is far too delicate for the rigors of waiting in a DMV office."

    Tyler Epkins Systems Analyst
  • “The Justice Department is setting a clear double standard: It’s not okay to discriminate against Hispanics, but it is okay to discriminate against racist whites who don’t want Hispanics to vote?”

    Bob Lothian Cook-Box Filler

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