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Universe Crueler, More Uncaring Place Than Previously Thought

The universe, long known as a bleak and unforgiving place where essentially nothing matters, is in fact even crueler and more heartless than previously thought, according to a startling report published Tuesday by scientists at the Institute for Advanced ...

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.
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Justice Department Won't Defend DOMA

In a move that surprised observers, the Obama administration announced Wednesday that the Department of Justice would no longer uphold the constitutionality of the Defense of Marriage Act. What do you think?

  • "Well I hope they don't expect my wife and I to do it, because we've got our hands full defending Christmas."

    Meredith Beatty Systems Analyst
  • "Yay! Now I can marry my clock!"

    Paul Maodush Architect
  • "Why're you asking me? I knew this shirt made me look gay. Thanks, Mom!"

    Larry Ziegahn Unemployed

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