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Politics

Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Justice Dept.: Justice Dept. Broke Law

An internal review has concluded that aides to former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales used politics as a guiding factor in hiring, thus breaking the law and ruining the reputation of the Justice Department. What do you think?
  • "I can't tell which Justice Department is the evil Justice Department—they look exactly the same!"

    Tasha Stanton Blinds Installer
  • "Uh-oh. I used a political criteria to choose my preferred candidate in the 2004 elections. Do I have to turn myself in?"

    Josh Craven Limo Driver
  • "I'm beginning to think I was a little too hard on Ashcroft."

    Kyle Soares Systems Analyst

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