Justice Dept.: Justice Dept. Broke Law

In This Section

Vol 44 Issue 31

L.A. Bans Fast Food

The Los Angeles City Council passed a one-year moratorium on new fast-food establishments opening in South Los Angeles where 30 percent of the...
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Fun

  • Night Out Consecrated With Opening Exchange Of High-Fives

    CHARLOTTE, NC—Kicking off the evening with their customary expression of excitement and camaraderie, a group of friends reportedly consecrated their night out on the town Friday with a ceremonial opening exchange of high-fives.

Comfort

  • Entire Room Mentally Shaving Man's Facial Hair

    WHITE PLAINS, NY—Stunned and visibly offended by the sheer volume of facial hair visible before them, every single customer at local diner Hubbard's this morning was reportedly eyeing 28-year-old fellow patron David Kellerman and mentally shaving of...

Justice Dept.: Justice Dept. Broke Law

An internal review has concluded that aides to former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales used politics as a guiding factor in hiring, thus breaking the law and ruining the reputation of the Justice Department. What do you think?
  • "I can't tell which Justice Department is the evil Justice Department—they look exactly the same!"

    Tasha Stanton
    Blinds Installer
  • "Uh-oh. I used a political criteria to choose my preferred candidate in the 2004 elections. Do I have to turn myself in?"

    Josh Craven
    Limo Driver
  • "I'm beginning to think I was a little too hard on Ashcroft."

    Kyle Soares
    Systems Analyst
Jump to next story

Onion Video

Watch More