Recent News

Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
End Of Section
  • More News

Justice Scalia Dies

The death of Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia has led to discussion of his potential replacement, whom President Obama intends to nominate this year despite Mitch McConnell’s insistence that they be selected by the next president in 2017. What do you think?

  • “So, what did Obama do after he heard McConnell’s idea? Did he go for that?”

    Harold Lemon Staple Packager
  • “If Obama has any sense of decorum he’ll appoint Scalia’s eldest son to replace him.”

    Lou Ferrell Illusion Specialist
  • “I just think it’s insensitive to be having this discussion now. Can’t it wait until they’re all together at the funeral?”

    Amanda Shelton Checklist Provider

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.