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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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Justin Bieber Accused Of Assaulting Neighbor

Police responded to reports yesterday that Justin Bieber threatened and attacked his neighbor after the latter voiced concerns that the 19-year-old pop star had been unsafely speeding through the neighborhood while testing out a newly delivered Ferrari. What do you think?

  • “Wow. I can’t believe a kid who’s received that much attention all his life could act so spoiled.”

    Gustavo Sparado Fish Seller
  • “Can’t the neighbor just be cool and think back to when he was 19 and was delivered Ferraris?”

    Jim Kressel Optical Engineer
  • “Well, how did the car drive?”

    Lucy Hartung Systems Analyst
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