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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Justin Bieber Accused Of Assaulting Neighbor

Police responded to reports yesterday that Justin Bieber threatened and attacked his neighbor after the latter voiced concerns that the 19-year-old pop star had been unsafely speeding through the neighborhood while testing out a newly delivered Ferrari. What do you think?

  • “Wow. I can’t believe a kid who’s received that much attention all his life could act so spoiled.”

    Gustavo Sparado Fish Seller
  • “Can’t the neighbor just be cool and think back to when he was 19 and was delivered Ferraris?”

    Jim Kressel Optical Engineer
  • “Well, how did the car drive?”

    Lucy Hartung Systems Analyst
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