adBlockCheck

Recent News

Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
End Of Section
  • More News

Justin Bieber Criticized For Cheating On ‘Ice Bucket Challenge’

Justin Bieber has been criticized for cheating on his version of the now-viral “Ice Bucket Challenge,” in which he poured a small saucepan of water on himself that didn’t actually contain any ice. What do you think?

  • “Now there’ll never be a cure.”

    Paula McCormick Propagandist
  • “I can see how he would get it wrong. ‘Ice bucket’ is a little vague.”

    Natalie Wright Zoo Builder
  • “This kid is out of control.”

    Marty Alter Skin Diver

More from this section

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close