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The Life Of Diana, Princess Of Wales

Today marks 20 years since the funeral of Princess Diana, known to many as the “people’s princess.” The Onion looks back at the life of Princess Diana before it was cut tragically short.

Study: Other Countries Weird

BOSTON—Examining a wide variety of cross-cultural data, a Boston University study released Monday determined that other countries are weird.

Japanese Family Puts Aging Robot In Retirement Home

KYOTO, JAPAN—Saying the move to the assisted care facility was the right decision after so many years of operation, members of the Akiyama family finally put their aging robot in a retirement home, sources reported Friday.

North Korea Successfully Detonates Nuclear Scientist

PYONGYANG—Hailing it as a significant step forward for their ballistic weapons program just hours after suffering a failed missile launch, North Korean leaders announced Monday they had successfully detonated a nuclear scientist.
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Karzai Rival Pulls Out Of Race

Afghan presidential contender Abdullah Abdullah withdrew his candidacy six days before a scheduled runoff election, calling into question the legitimacy of Hamid Karzai's government. What do you think?
  • "The election was corrupt to its very core. There was not a single warlord on the ballot."

    Greg Dwyer Lumber Piler
  • "Wait, he backed out? And here I've still got all these 'Abdullah Abdullah '09' signs up in my yard like a jackass."

    Molli Simpson Medical Parasitologist
  • "He'll be fine. It's only a matter of time till someone offers him a sweet 10-goat book deal."

    Ed Finkler Jig Grinder

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