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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Kate Middleton Topless Photos Published

The British royal family is considering legal action after the French gossip magazine Closer published paparazzi photos of Kate Middleton, Duchess of Cambridge, sunbathing topless at a private villa in Provence. What do you think?

  • “That’s nothing. I know a website that has a ton of pictures of beautiful naked people in focus.”

    Jane Morrison Systems Analyst
  • “Where can I download those photos, look at them once, shrug, and never care about them again?”

    Toby Balk Automobile Detailer
  • “What a slut.”

    Grady Thewlis Kiln Operator

More from this section

Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

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