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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Katie Couric Talk Show Dominates Ratings

Katie Couric’s new talk show, Katie, earned far higher ratings this week than the debuts of competing programs hosted by Ricki Lake, Jeff Probst, and Steve Harvey, becoming the most watched daytime premiere since Dr. Phil first aired 10 years ago. What do you think?

  • “These numbers must be fake. There’s no way she beat all three of those juggernauts.”

    Beverly Charmatz Harp Repairer
  • “What kind of soulless television executives would even schedule competing programs against America’s sweetheart?”

    Shane Nicastro Coffee Roaster
  • “That was a savvy move of hers to be an attractive, charismatic woman.”

    Pierre Moriceau Logging Superintendent
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