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Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
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Katrina Reporters "Lost It"

American viewers witnessed reporters becoming unusually emotional on camera while reporting on Hurricane Katrina, raising questions about appropriate journalistic behavior. What do you think?
  • "Sheesh, you send somebody into the middle of the worst natural disaster in U.S. history, and the next thing you know, they're getting all emotional on you."

    Norton Hewit Consultant
  • "One thing's for sure: Anderson Cooper's raw emotion and courage in the face of great tragedy have truly earned him the nickname 'Coop.'"

    Hannah Forrester Systems Analyst
  • "I don't believe reporters should be allowed to editorialize like that. It should be left up to me to decide whether or not what happened in New Orleans was sad."

    Arturo Sonorra Musician

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