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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.

How To Combat Harassment Online

Online harassment is an increasingly contentious issue, with social media sites like Twitter and Reddit pressured to crack down on users’ abusive behavior. Here are The Onion’s tips for combating harassment online:

Strongside/Weakside: Deshaun Watson

After leading his team to victory in the College Football Playoff National Championship, Clemson University quarterback Deshaun Watson announced he would forgo his final year of eligibility and declare for the NFL Draft. Is he any good?

A Timeline Of Trump’s Relationship With The Press

President-elect Donald Trump routinely insists that he is treated unfairly by the press, while many in the news industry have openly expressed how difficult it can be to report on him in today’s chaotic media environment. Here is a timeline of the major events that have shaped this relationship.
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Katrina Reporters "Lost It"

American viewers witnessed reporters becoming unusually emotional on camera while reporting on Hurricane Katrina, raising questions about appropriate journalistic behavior. What do you think?
  • "Sheesh, you send somebody into the middle of the worst natural disaster in U.S. history, and the next thing you know, they're getting all emotional on you."

    Norton Hewit Consultant
  • "One thing's for sure: Anderson Cooper's raw emotion and courage in the face of great tragedy have truly earned him the nickname 'Coop.'"

    Hannah Forrester Systems Analyst
  • "I don't believe reporters should be allowed to editorialize like that. It should be left up to me to decide whether or not what happened in New Orleans was sad."

    Arturo Sonorra Musician

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