adBlockCheck

Recent News

Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
End Of Section
  • More News

Kellogg Cereal Inflates Health Claims

The Federal Trade Commission is taking issue with Kellogg's assertion that its Rice Krispies cereal helps support children's immune systems. What do you think?

  • "Poppycock! I have it on good authority that Dr. Kellogg's Crisped Rice cereal is sure to boost vitality and ward off languidity of all forms."

    Dan Ratter Financial Advisor
  • "Why is the government always in our business? Can't they just let us have our edible cure-alls?"

    Pam Stone Attorney
  • "So I should start taking my kids to the doctor?"

    Steve Alvarez Construction Worker
More Videos

WATCH VIDEO FROM THE ONION

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close