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Kerrey's Secret Shame

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Politics

Lone Superdelegate Voting For Martin O’Malley Feels Like Total Fucking Idiot

PHILADELPHIA—Sheepishly raising his hand to nominate the man who suspended his presidential campaign back in February, unpledged delegate Bob Shiefke told reporters Tuesday he felt like a “total fucking idiot” for being the only person at the Democratic National Convention voting for former Maryland governor Martin O’Malley.

Michelle Obama: ‘Well, There Are 8 Years Of My Life I’ll Never Get Back’

PHILADELPHIA—Her face fixed in an expression of apathetic detachment as she took the stage Monday night to raucous cheers and applause, First Lady Michelle Obama reportedly began her address to the Democratic National Convention by exhaling audibly and remarking that she would never get the past eight years of her life back.

Revelations From The DNC Email Leak

Last week, WikiLeaks posted 20,000 email exchanges among DNC officials, the content of which led to DNC chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz’s resignation on the eve of the convention. Here are some of the key revelations from the leak

CNN Producer On Hunt For Saddest-Looking Fuck With Convention Button Collection

PHILADELPHIA—Weaving his way through the crowd of patriotically dressed attendees excitedly milling around on the floor of the Democratic National Convention, CNN segment producer Jeff Raskin reportedly went on the hunt Monday for the most pitiful-looking fuck willing to speak on camera about their political button collection.
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Kerrey's Secret Shame

Last week, former senator Bob Kerrey admitted that a raid he led in the Vietnam War resulted in the deaths of at least 13 unarmed women and children. What do you think?
  • "Geez, you'd think he could make a run at the presidency without resorting to this kind of grandstanding."

    Myron Kannell Systems Analyst
  • "We all have skeletons in our closets. Of course, in Kerrey's case, it's a whole pile of Vietnamese child skeletons, but still."

    Peter Odomes Banker
  • "Come on. If that had really happened, he'd have an ear necklace like McCain."

    Andrew Hosch Telemarketer
  • "There are many good reasons to kill: money, revenge, that satisfying 'thwump' sound... but not to advance one's political career."

    Ike Brophy File Clerk
  • "What I want to know is, when he realized what had happened, did he throw back his head and yell, 'Nooooo!' in pain and rage?"

    Paulette Arnold Homemaker
  • "I suppose next you're going to tell me that Senator Calley was involved in this sort of thing, too."

    Denise Pillers Florist

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