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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.

Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.
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KFC Selling Chicken Prom Corsages

Fast food chain KFC has announced that for a limited time during prom season, it will sell corsages made from fried chicken drumsticks on a bed of baby’s breath, which will sell for $20 and include a $5 KFC gift card. What do you think?

  • “My daughter’s dress would look better with something from Burger King.”

    Bob Crider Seminar Instructor
  • “Twenty dollars? I’ll make my own chicken corsage, thank you.”

    Mary Frerichs Unemployed
  • “We weren’t supposed to eat the flower ones?”

    Philip Marchman Line Cook
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