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Kids Snorting Smarties Candies In Nationwide Trend

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360 Tour: Inside The RNC

The Onion invites you to explore our view from the floor of the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland.

Good Guy With Gun, Bad Guy With Gun Both Excited To Unload Firearm In Crowd Outside Arena

CLEVELAND—As each of them looked around at the people gathered outside Quicken Loans Arena and fantasized about unholstering their weapon and taking aim directly at others, both a good guy with a gun and a bad guy with a gun attending the Republican National Convention reportedly worked themselves into a heightened state of excitement Thursday at the thought of unloading their firearm into the crowd.

Bob Dole Picked Off By Large Hawk Circling Arena Parking Lot

CLEVELAND—Describing how the bird of prey suddenly dived down from the sky at high velocity, sources confirmed Thursday that former GOP presidential nominee Bob Dole was picked off by a large red-tailed hawk circling above the Quicken Loans Arena parking lot.
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Kids Snorting Smarties Candies In Nationwide Trend

Goaded by thousands of online videos showing the practice, middle school kids across the U.S. have reportedly been crushing up Smarties candies into powder and snorting them, though health officials warn of possibly serious side effects. What do you think?

  • “Middle school is a truly confusing time.”

    Valerie Kleiser Domain Name Registrar
  • “Man, those kids are going to feel so dumb when they find out they’re contradicting U.S. health officials.”

    Henry Salant Production Supervisor
  • “This is what happens when you take their cigarettes.”

    Francis Benjamin Traffic Engineer

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