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Earth Ranked Number One Party Planet

FRAMINGHAM, MA—Noting its high concentration of nightlife, droves of attractive singles, and atmospheric conditions allowing liquid alcohol to exist, the ‘Princeton Review’ on Monday ranked Earth the Milky Way galaxy’s top party planet for the fifth year in a row.
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Kids Snorting Smarties Candies In Nationwide Trend

Goaded by thousands of online videos showing the practice, middle school kids across the U.S. have reportedly been crushing up Smarties candies into powder and snorting them, though health officials warn of possibly serious side effects. What do you think?

  • “Middle school is a truly confusing time.”

    Valerie Kleiser Domain Name Registrar
  • “Man, those kids are going to feel so dumb when they find out they’re contradicting U.S. health officials.”

    Henry Salant Production Supervisor
  • “This is what happens when you take their cigarettes.”

    Francis Benjamin Traffic Engineer
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