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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Kids Using Drugs To Study

Studies show that more and more college students are abusing prescription ADHD drugs like Adderall and Ritalin to help them study. What do you think?
  • "Slippage in grades is a sure sign your child may not be on drugs."

    Ed Wills Driver
  • "These drugs help them study? Wow. Turns out drugs aren't cool after all."

    Jeffrey Stuart Surgeon
  • "Taking Ritalin to study is very dangerous. If you let your focus drift, you'll spend the night scrubbing your telephone."

    Danielle Carlson Novelist
  • "It turns out the main ingredient in Adderall is dextroamphetamine. So all these years, long-haul truckers have been a vast, untapped intellectual resource?"

    Scott Wolman Cashier
  • "Hell, I don't blame them. Back in law school, I had to take all kinds of drugs just to be able to appreciate art and music."

    Stephen Underhill Lawyer
  • "When I was a kid, we didn't have drugs to help us study. If we wanted to get good grades, we had no choice but to stop getting drunk."

    Dana Williams Personal Shopper
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