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What You Need To Know About Last Night’s Oscars Debacle

Many viewers were left wondering about the sequence of events that led to the initial erroneous declaration of ‘La La Land’ as the Best Picture winner at the Academy Awards Sunday instead of the real winner, ‘Moonlight’. The Onion breaks down what you need to know about this fiasco.

Brad Pitt Sidelined 6 To 8 Weeks With Red Carpet Toe

LOS ANGELES—Saying doctors strongly recommended that he stay off the injured foot, representatives for Brad Pitt confirmed to reporters Sunday that the actor was sidelined six to eight weeks with a case of red carpet toe.

The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:
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KISS Guitarist Denied Royalties

Former KISS guitarist Vinnie Vincent was denied claims to royalties for the album Lick It Up by the Supreme Court recently. What do you think?
  • "The fact that Ruth Bader Ginsburg simply did not let go of her grudge against Vinnie Vincent is really getting out of hand. That was 20 years ago, Ruth."

    Kelly Brathwaite Elevator Repairperson
  • "Dude, the guy almost destroyed KISS. He doesn't deserve royalties. He deserves a medal."

    Phyllis Weeden Bartender
  • "Okay, but if this Court's next step is to take away Vinnie Vincent's right to have an abortion, I am going to go apeshit."

    Dan Bender Antique Appraiser
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