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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Lady Gaga Barred From Indonesia

Following numerous religious protests, Indonesian officials have refused to issue a permit for Lady Gaga to perform in Jakarta next month. What do you think?

  • “Oh, man, that’s too bad. I bet she was going to dress up like something weird.”

    Quinn Palmer Systems Analyst
  • "Fuck, do you know how hard it is to get a refund from Indonesian Ticketmaster?"

    Gabriel King Buffing Machine Operator
  • "As Eddie Money’s booking agent, I can confirm he is available to step in to fill her commitments. Seriously, he’s got a bag packed and everything."

    Marc Taylor Booking Agent
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