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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
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Lady Gaga Not Banned From Yankees

After an incident in which Yankees co-chairman Hal Steinbrenner announced Lady Gaga would be barred from the New York Yankees clubhouse, GM Brian Cashman said that this was not the case. What do you think?

  • "How will our pop stars know when it's okay to act up in public if we keep sending them mixed messages?"

    Steven Crowe Reamer
  • "Classic Cashman-Steinbrenner inability to get on the same page regarding their Lady Gaga policy."

    Nelson Deitrich Glass Grinder
  • "Steinbrenner was just pissed because he mistook Gaga for Jeff Weaver."

    Georgia Spunkmeyer Test Rider

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