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A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.
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Lady Gaga To Sing In Outer Space In 2015

As part of the Zero G Colony festival that is set to take place in early 2015 at Spaceport America in New Mexico, Lady Gaga will perform a single song aboard a Virgin Galactic spaceflight, becoming the first pop star to sing in space. What do you think?

  • “This better not be an empty promise like last time with Lance Bass.”

    Tia Bates Bricklayer
  • “I hope it’s not the same Virgin Galactic spaceflight I booked. I really wanted to get some reading done.”

    John Church Hospital Administrator
  • “Is she playing anywhere closer to Cincinnati?”

    Roland Munro Terra Cotta Mason
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Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

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