Landlords Urged To Be Vigilant Against Terrorists

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Vol 47 Issue 19

Nation Wrestling With Notion Of Mark Cuban Winning NBA Title

DALLAS—Within hours of the Mavericks sweeping the Lakers Sunday to advance to the NBA Western Conference Finals, basketball fans across the United States began preparing themselves for the very real possibility of outspoken libertarian and tech bill...

Career Highlights Of Phil Jackson

Thirteen-time NBA champion Phil Jackson, the man who most thoroughly embodies the idea of the basketball guru, is saying he’ll hang it up now that his Lakers have been eliminated from the playoffs.

Bronx Zoo Loses Peacock

Following a high-profile cobra escape earlier this year, the world-famous Bronx Zoo had a peacock go missing this week.

Area Man Has Some Pretty Shitty Mob Ties

NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ—Despite local contractor Danny Polazza's frequent claims that "he knows a few guys," friends confirmed Monday that the 42-year-old's ties to the Mafia are actually pretty shitty.
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Landlords Urged To Be Vigilant Against Terrorists

Following the death of Osama bin Laden, the Department of Homeland Security has urged landlords to be on the alert for radicalized individuals who may be occupying their buildings. What do you think?

  • “If they're telling me to be racist, I'm way ahead of them."

    Adam Kilbey
    Systems Analyst
  • "To clarify, the DHS defines 'radicalized individuals' as people who complain about malfunctioning radiators, people who complain about unchanged light bulbs in entryways, and people who complain about inconsistent trash removal."

    Jen Wilson-Piper
    Security Analyst
  • "No sweat, I've already worked a clause into my standard lease that revokes a tenant's entire security deposit if he commits an act of terrorism."

    Marco Powles
    Landlord
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