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Biden Opts Out Of Putting Last Few Felonies On Job Application

WASHINGTON—Saying he would be “sitting pretty” if he landed such a primo gig, Vice President Joe Biden reportedly decided Tuesday to leave off several of his most recent felonies while filling out a job application for a blackjack dealer position at the Horseshoe Casino Baltimore.

Departing Bo Obama Lands K Street Lobbyist Position

WASHINGTON—Touting his lengthy tenure in the White House and close personal relationships with the president of the United States and first lady, executives at Brownstein Hyatt Farber Schreck announced Monday that once the current administration steps down later this week, the departing Bo Obama will officially join their high-powered K Street lobbying firm.
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Larry King To Host Show On Russian TV

Larry King, the legendary 79-year-old news personality who retired from CNN in 2010, will host a new public affairs talk show called Politics With Larry King on the Russian state-funded television network RT starting in June. What do you think?

  • “I’m just not sure Russians will be able to understand Larry’s hip, modern American sensibilities.”

    Jose Mata Data Recovery Technician
  • “But will he be able to hold his own bantering with stars like Julia Vysotskaya and Natalya Bochkareva?”

    Shari Elvin Fish Farmer
  • “I’d always hoped Larry would die on American television."

    Tim Gilmore Stenographer

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