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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Lasers Could Replace Spark Plugs

A team of Japanese researchers has developed an improved fuel ignition system that would use lasers instead of spark plugs. What do you think?

  • "With their attraction to laser lights, I would worry about cats getting trapped in the cylinders."

    Eric Fink Systems Analyst
  • "Great, now I need a laser guy. You got a laser guy?"

    Elizabeth Marsh Gas Charger
  • "Gee whiz, what's next? Spark plugs shooting out of robot's eyes?"

    Robin Minnifield Rasper
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