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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Last Supper Meals Getting Larger

A study of 52 depictions of the Last Supper—the final meal Jesus ate with his disciples before he was crucified—found that food portions in the paintings have grown 69 percent over the past millennium. What do you think?

  • "I know. Don't get me started on those Baroque artists. Oink, oink, oink."

    Jennifer Buckley Systems Analyst
  • "Great, here comes another shitty Dan Brown novel."

    Eric Hanas Intake Worker
  • "Legend holds that the Last Supper was bounteous, as Squanto had taught Jesus and his disciples to plant corn that previous spring."

    Jeremy Edelston Unemployed

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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

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