adBlockCheck

Latest 'Shrek' Weaker Than Last

Top Headlines

Entertainment

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.

Lost Jack London Manuscript, ‘The Doggy,’ Found

RYE, NY—Workers inventorying the estate of a recently deceased Westchester County art dealer earlier this month reportedly stumbled upon a draft of a previously unknown Jack London novel titled The Doggy, and the work is already being hailed by many within the literary world as a masterpiece.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Latest 'Shrek' Weaker Than Last

Shrek Forever After, the latest installment in the animated children's franchise, grossed nearly $50 million less in its opening weekend than its predecessor. What do you think?

  • "Time for Mike Myers to go back to the drawing board until he invents a new character who's fat and gross and has a Scottish accent."

    Nicholas Casebolt Mold Cleaner
  • "Really? Maybe after I tell my daughter, she won't want me to take her and the rest of her birthday party to the damn thing."

    Kayla Hamley Pelletizer
  • "Sadly, it has to compete with that other movie with the British-sounding ogre. What's it called? Oh, yeah, Robin Hood!"

    Will Lorinczi Nozzle Tender

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close