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Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
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Lawyer Sues Casinos Over Gambling Addiction

A former lawyer has named six Atlantic City casinos in a $20 million lawsuit claiming that they did not prevent her from losing nearly $1 million. What do you think?

  • "This lawsuit is completely unnecessary. She should realize that she can always still win it back."

    John Lally Student
  • "I thought Atlantic City was just a joke. Is that a real place?"

    Laura Fidao Foot Model
  • "I hope she loses, so she can sue the Justice Department for even more."

    Danny Fonseca Baggage Screener

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