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Keys To The Matchup: Packers vs. Falcons

The NFC Championship Game pits the Atlanta Falcons against the Green Bay Packers for the rare chance to play a meaningful game in Houston. Onion Sports breaks down what each team must do to win.

Black Man Out Of Work

WASHINGTON—Joining the ranks of the unemployed at a time when joblessness remains stubbornly high among African Americans, 55-year-old local black man Barack Obama has lost the full-time job he has held for the past eight years, sources confirmed Friday.

Departing Obama Tearfully Shoos Away Loyal Drone Following Him Out Of White House

‘Go On Now, Git,’ Says Former President

WASHINGTON—Stopping and turning around as he made his way across the South Lawn after hearing the unmanned aerial vehicle hovering just feet behind him, outgoing President Barack Obama tearfully shooed away a loyal MQ-9 Reaper drone attempting to follow him out of the White House, sources confirmed Friday.

Jimmy Carter Contemplating Dying Right Here And Now

WASHINGTON—Carefully weighing the pros and cons of each option from his seat onstage at Donald Trump’s inauguration, former president Jimmy Carter is, according to late-breaking reports, currently contemplating dying right here and now.
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Lean In, Getty Images Alter Portrayal Of Women In Stock Photos

In order to promote positive and realistic images of women, Sheryl Sandberg announced that her nonprofit organization Lean In will team up with Getty Images to remove stock photos that perpetuate female stereotypes and replace them with photos of women as surgeons, soldiers, hunters, and other professions. What do you think?

  • “Finally, the internet will be clean of images that degrade women.”

    Mary Hadland Systems Analyst
  • “Yes, that seems like a nice, easy task that women can do.”

    Roman Edelman Valuation Advisory
  • “As long as the photos of women climbing the corporate ladder are shot from a low enough angle.”

    Nick Gold Piano Tuner

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