‘Lee Daniels’ The Butler’ Takes Box Office; ‘Jobs’ Flops

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Vol 49 Issue 34

Breaking Bad

AMC 9 p.m. EDT/8 p.m. CDT LeVar Burton takes children out to a river, where they catch rainbow trout and try to discern the fish’s personality just by how it flops around on the shore.

Monday, September 2

Due to budget cuts, beginning next week the library is replacing Movie Mondays with Blondie Comic–Reading Mondays.

$80,000 Wedding Beautiful

The Obama family adopts a 44-Year-Old Portuguese water man, a report shows that employers know within the first five minutes whether or not they will murder an applicant, and well, the neighbors just got a pitbull.

Chuck Klosterman Corners Guy At Party Wearing Dio Shirt

NEW YORK—Author Chuck Klosterman reportedly cornered a guy who was wearing a Dio shirt at a party Thursday evening and dominated an exhaustive discussion on the metal band, addressing the group’s fantasy themes, deconstructing lyrics, and expo...

Ben Affleck To Play Batman

The president of Warner Bros. announced yesterday that Ben Affleck will play the role of Batman in the 2015 sequel to this summer’s Man of Steel, in which Batman will join forces with Superman.
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Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Comedy

Fantasy Sports

FIFA Frantically Announces 2015 Summer World Cup In United States

ZURICH—After the Justice Department indicted numerous executives from world soccer’s governing body on charges of corruption and bribery, frantic and visibly nervous officials from FIFA held an impromptu press conference Wednesday to announce that the United States has been selected to host this summer’s 2015 World Cup.

‘Lee Daniels’ The Butler’ Takes Box Office; ‘Jobs’ Flops

Lee Daniels’ The Butler, a drama that follows the life of a black White House butler who served eight presidents, took in $25 million in its opening weekend, beating out the Steve Jobs biopic Jobs, which earned a disappointing $6.7 million. What do you think?

  • “People will see anything with ‘Lee Daniels’ in the title.”

    Holly Thigpen
    Rhinestone Setter
  • “Well, obviously. Any movie that can tap into our nation’s thriving underground butler culture is sure to be a hit.”

    Ezra Switkes
    Bottling Line Attendant
  • “The Lee Daniels’ The Butler app will never get approved now.”

    Justin Camillucci
    Systems Analyst
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