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Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.

Fermilab Receives Generous Anonymous Particle Donation

BATAVIA, IL—Calling it the most substantial private donation the research facility has received in years, officials at the Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory announced Monday that an anonymous benefactor had given them a generous particle donation.

God Excited About First Trip To Japan

THE HEAVENS—After years of talking about visiting the East Asian country, God, Our Lord and Heavenly Father, told reporters Monday that He was excited to finally be taking His first trip to Japan.
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Lennon, 25 Years Gone

Today marks the 25th anniversary of the death of John Lennon. What do you think?
  • "I can't believe it's been 25 years already. It seems like only yesterday that Lennon was dead for nine years."

    Jesse Robbins Actuary
  • "It's too bad he couldn't live to see himself in an ad for Apple."

    Nate McConarty Corrections Officer
  • "Damn. Now there's going to be another special edition of Catcher In the Rye, and I'll have to get this one, too."

    Phoebe Plagens Guest Services

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