adBlockCheck

Leonardo DiCaprio Auctions Off Trip To Space With Him

Top Headlines

Recent News

Voyager Probe Badly Damaged After Smashing Into End Of Universe

PASADENA, CA—Confirming that several components had broken off the craft and that most of its scientific instruments were no longer operational, officials from NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory announced that Voyager 1, the pioneering space probe launched in 1977, had been severely damaged Thursday after crashing into the end of the universe.

Leaked Documents Reveal Studio Executives Knew About ‘Gods Of Egypt’ Before It Released Onto Public

SANTA MONICA, CA—Suggesting that the disastrous events of three months ago could have been averted, federal investigators stated Wednesday that a trove of leaked documents confirmed high-ranking studio executives had full knowledge of Gods Of Egypt long before the film was released onto unsuspecting Americans.Investigators described those who allowed such a screenplay to be carried out as “extremely sick and heartless individuals.”

Books Vs. E-Readers

Though e-readers have increasingly supplanted books in the digital age, many bibliophiles defend the importance of physical texts. Here is a side-by-side comparison of physical books and e-books
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Leonardo DiCaprio Auctions Off Trip To Space With Him

At the annual Foundation for Aids Research auction on Thursday, Leonardo DiCaprio auctioned off a trip accompanying him to outer space in 2015 for more than $1 million. What do you think?

  • “I’m a little short on cash. How much to go with Casey Affleck?”

    Barry Conover Systems Analyst
  • “But 2015 is when I’m going to the center of the earth with Robert Redford.”

    Elizabeth Morin Line Cook
  • “I don’t have that kind of money, but I can toss in my Aviator 2 script, which will make 10 times that if done right.”

    Perry Granger Slaughterhouse Supervisor

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close