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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Lesbian Teen Suing School Over Prom

A Mississippi high school senior is filing suit against her local school board, which canceled its prom after she challenged its policy against same-sex dates. What do you think?
  • "I'll put up streamers and play Black Eyed Peas all night if they want to come over to my house and kiss."

    David Pierson Systems Analyst
  • "I have to say, canceling the prom was a pretty ingenious way for the school to make it seem like the girl is the bad guy in this situation."

    Natalia Cohen Safety Inspector
  • "Obviously, you can't have a lesbian couple at prom. Their softball cleats would ruin the gym floor."

    Jacob Brooks Unemployed
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