Less Than 1 In 4 Americans Trust Newspapers

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Most Likely Candidates For Trump’s Cabinet

If elected president, Donald Trump will have the opportunity to nominate up to 15 cabinet members, each advising him on executive departments. Here are the most rumored choices for Trump’s inner circle.

Cake Just Sitting There

Take It

CHICAGO—Assuring you that there was nothing to worry about and not a soul around who would see you, sources confirmed Tuesday that a large piece of chocolate cake was just sitting there and that you should go ahead and take it.

Siblings Each Hoping Other One Will Take Care Of Aging Parents Someday

CLEVELAND—Explaining that they simply didn’t want to have to deal with the immense time commitment and emotional exhaustion, sisters Katie and Ellen Cattell each privately admitted to reporters this week that they were hoping the other sibling would someday be the one to take care of their aging parents.
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Less Than 1 In 4 Americans Trust Newspapers

A Gallup poll found that only 23 percent of Americans are confident in the information they receive from newspapers, down from a high of 51 percent in 1979. What do you think?

  • “I don’t believe you. Fuck off.”

    Gilbert Bleuze Systems Analyst
  • “Well, we won’t have to worry about them much longer.”

    Joyce Willmus Cloth Shearer
  • “I don’t trust any publication that uses paper that flimsy.”

    Colin Holden Mercury Purifier


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