Less Than 1 In 4 Americans Trust Newspapers

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Disney Unveils First Virgin Princess

LOS ANGELES—In an effort to better reflect the diverse backgrounds and experiences of their audience, Disney officials this week introduced Lily of Hazelberry, the company’s first virgin princess.

The Gay Rights Movement In America: A Timeline

The Supreme Court ruled in a 5-4 decision Friday that bans on gay marriage are unconstitutional, concluding decades of hard-fought battles by gay rights activists to grant marriage equality to all. Here is a timeline of milestones in the gay rights movement in the U.S.
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  • Night Out Consecrated With Opening Exchange Of High-Fives

    CHARLOTTE, NC—Kicking off the evening with their customary expression of excitement and camaraderie, a group of friends reportedly consecrated their night out on the town Friday with a ceremonial opening exchange of high-fives.

Business

Coworkers Pull Off Daring One-Hour Lunch Break

TUCSON, AZ—Saying they couldn’t believe such a wild exploit had even been attempted, employees at local marketing firm Synergy Media Services told reporters they were still completely dumbfounded Thursday after account manager Tim Gibbons managed to pull off a daring one-hour lunch break.

Less Than 1 In 4 Americans Trust Newspapers

A Gallup poll found that only 23 percent of Americans are confident in the information they receive from newspapers, down from a high of 51 percent in 1979. What do you think?

  • “I don’t believe you. Fuck off.”

    Gilbert Bleuze
    Systems Analyst
  • “Well, we won’t have to worry about them much longer.”

    Joyce Willmus
    Cloth Shearer
  • “I don’t trust any publication that uses paper that flimsy.”

    Colin Holden
    Mercury Purifier
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