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Stunned Adam Schefter Receives Ominous Tip From Future Self

BRISTOL, CT—Slowly returning to his desk shaken and confused, sources reported Wednesday that ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter was stunned to receive an ominous tip from his future self while walking through one of his office building’s hallways.

Infographic: 20 Years Of Netflix

Netflix was founded as an online DVD rental service in 1997 and has since evolved into a subscription-based streaming platform with its own slate of original programming. The Onion looks back at the most important moments in the company’s 20-year history.

Musical The Kind With Number About Putting On A Show

TALLAHASSEE, FL—Noting the increasingly animated choreography and behavior of the characters on stage, sources at the Tallahassee Community Theatre reported Friday that this is apparently the kind of musical with a big number about putting on a show.

What To Watch For In The New Obi-Wan Kenobi Film

Disney has announced they are in the early stages of developing a stand-alone ‘Star Wars’ film focused on the adventures of Jedi master Obi-Wan Kenobi. Here’s what fans can expect to see in the upcoming release.
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Letterman Apologizes To Palin

Talk show host David Letterman apologized to Alaska governor Sarah Palin for insinuating her daughter was impregnated at a New York Yankees game. What do you think?
  • "I think Letterman should have waited a couple weeks to be sure she really wasn't impregnated at the game.”

    Karen Borden Technical Illustrator
  • "How could he make such a callous joke when the governor is only now getting over her unwed teen daughter's breakup after trotting both her and the father of her baby around on the campaign trail for two months as paragons of responsibility and virtue?"

    Brent Siefert Plumber
  • "Wait a minute. You mean there's a Palin daughter out there who's not pregnant? I'll be right back."

    Terry Reinhard Systems Analyst

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