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Lewis Out For MDA Telethon

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Director Has Clear Vision Of How Studio Will Destroy Movie

LOS ANGELES—Saying he can already picture exactly what the finished cut will look like on the big screen, Hollywood film director Paul Stanton told reporters Wednesday he has a clear vision of how studio executives will totally destroy his upcoming movie.

Your Horoscopes — Week Of June 14, 2016

ARIES: Once the laughter dies down, the party favors are put away, and the monkeys led back inside their cages, you’ll finally be given a chance to explain your side of the story.

Hollywood Stars Overthrown In Bloody C-List Uprising

LOS ANGELES—Unleashing a brutal wave of violence and destruction that has upended the entire power structure of the entertainment industry overnight, the nation’s C-list celebrities have carried out a bloody coup to overthrow the hottest stars in Hollywood, sources reported Tuesday.
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Lewis Out For MDA Telethon

Despite a report that Jerry Lewis and the Muscular Dystrophy Association had reconciled, for the first time in 45 years the comedian will not be hosting the group's annual Labor Day Telethon. What do you think?

  • "Jerry Lewis is not doing the MDA telethon? Lewis, decorated for his achievements by the adoring French with the Croix d'Honneur des Téléthons Amusants?"

    Sharon Grant Systems Analyst
  • "I, for one, can't wait to see the new, undoubtedly hilarious update starring Eddie Murphy."

    Jayson Smith Denture Packer
  • "Well, too late. I already spent all my money on normal kids."

    Alex Denton Unemployed

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