Lewis Out For MDA Telethon

In This Section

Vol 47 Issue 34

Terrelle Pryor

The Raiders acquired the controversy-ridden Ohio State quarterback in the NFL supplementary draft. Is he any good?

NFL Fans Looking Forward To Season Of Touchbacks

NEW YORK—The National Football League's decision to move kickoffs to the 35 yard line has football fans across the nation anticipating a 2011 season full of dramatic, tension-producing touchbacks, league sources report.

Novelist Has Whole Shitty World Plotted Out

GLOUCESTER, MA—As he neared completion this week on his latest novel, By The Water's Edge, author Edward Milligan marveled aloud to reporters how he was able to flesh out, in meticulous detail, every single corner of his book's vast and stunn...
End Of Section
  • More News
TV Listings
Just Like Everything Else!: Fox 8 p.m. EDT/7 p.m. ABC Pete's wife is still on him about building that darn shed, these kids are going to be the death of Sheila and Dave, and the hot next-door neighbor is up in EVERYBODY'S business! Sunday nights on ABC couldn't be any more familiar!

Special Coverage

Originality

Comedy

Lewis Out For MDA Telethon

Despite a report that Jerry Lewis and the Muscular Dystrophy Association had reconciled, for the first time in 45 years the comedian will not be hosting the group's annual Labor Day Telethon. What do you think?

  • "Jerry Lewis is not doing the MDA telethon? Lewis, decorated for his achievements by the adoring French with the Croix d'Honneur des Téléthons Amusants?"

    Sharon Grant
    Systems Analyst
  • "I, for one, can't wait to see the new, undoubtedly hilarious update starring Eddie Murphy."

    Jayson Smith
    Denture Packer
  • "Well, too late. I already spent all my money on normal kids."

    Alex Denton
    Unemployed
Next Story

Onion Video

Watch More