adBlockCheck

Politics

Robert Mueller Driving SUV 100 MPH Down Runway As Air Force One Narrowly Lifts Off

PRINCE GEORGE’S COUNTY, MD—Sending a pair of guards scrambling for safety as he gunned his black SUV through a chain-link gate and onto the tarmac, Robert Mueller, the former FBI director who was recently tapped to lead the ongoing investigation into the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia, chased Air Force One down the runway at Joint Base Andrews moments before takeoff, sources reported Tuesday.

Trump Asks Entire Senate To Clear Out Of Chamber So He Can Speak To Comey Alone

WASHINGTON—Entering through a side door and bidding the assembled legislators, congressional aides, and members of the media to give him a moment with the former FBI director, President Donald Trump reportedly asked the entire Senate to clear the chamber during James Comey’s testimony Thursday so he could speak to him alone.

A Timeline Of The Watergate Scandal

With the White House mired in controversy, comparisons to Washington’s most famous scandal have been common, if not always accurate. Forty-five years after the events leading to Nixon’s resignation, The Onion presents a detailed timeline of the Watergate scandal.
End Of Section
  • More News

Lie-Detector Tests For Congress

The FBI wants members of Congress to take lie-detector tests in an investigation of leaked information regarding the Sept. 11 attacks. What do you think?
  • "I only support lie-detector tests for lawmakers if the questions are funny and embarrassing."

    John Pulliam Forklift Operator
  • "I hope they also get to the bottom of who has been taking Sen. Hagel's Diet Cokes from the fridge. It happened again today."

    Tom Allenby Senator
  • Young Woman "At last, Stage Three: out-of-control finger-pointing."

    Robyn Saunders Graduate <br>Student
  • "Are we going to treat our legislators like common white-collar criminals?"

    Dana <br>Wertheimer Homemaker
  • "Each time one of these lie-detector tests is given, it costs taxpayers $12,000. Okay, I just totally lied about that."

    Richard Leach Systems <br>Analyst
  • "All along, I've been saying Congress was involved in Sept. 11. But did anyone listen? No. Instead, I'm just dismissed as that crazy guy who lives under the overpass and shits in a KFC bucket."

    Edgar Wigand Unemployed

More from this section

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close