adBlockCheck

Lieberman Defeated in Primary

Top Headlines

Politics

The Onion Introduces: The Book Bjorn

Replete with an astonishing assemblage of facts, illustrations, maps, charts, threats, blood and additional fees to edify even the most simple-minded book-buyer, The Onion Book Of Known Knowledge is packed with valuable information--such as the life stage...

Who Is Tim Kaine?

Virginia senator Tim Kaine will be Hillary Clinton’s running mate on the Democratic Party ticket in the 2016 presidential election. Here’s what you need to know about Kaine

Lone Superdelegate Voting For Martin O’Malley Feels Like Total Fucking Idiot

PHILADELPHIA—Sheepishly raising his hand to nominate the man who suspended his presidential campaign back in February, unpledged delegate Bob Shiefke told reporters Tuesday he felt like a “total fucking idiot” for being the only person at the Democratic National Convention voting for former Maryland governor Martin O’Malley.

Michelle Obama: ‘Well, There Are 8 Years Of My Life I’ll Never Get Back’

PHILADELPHIA—Her face fixed in an expression of apathetic detachment as she took the stage Monday night to raucous cheers and applause, First Lady Michelle Obama reportedly began her address to the Democratic National Convention by exhaling audibly and remarking that she would never get the past eight years of her life back.

Revelations From The DNC Email Leak

Last week, WikiLeaks posted 20,000 email exchanges among DNC officials, the content of which led to DNC chair Debbie Wasserman Schultz’s resignation on the eve of the convention. Here are some of the key revelations from the leak

CNN Producer On Hunt For Saddest-Looking Fuck With Convention Button Collection

PHILADELPHIA—Weaving his way through the crowd of patriotically dressed attendees excitedly milling around on the floor of the Democratic National Convention, CNN segment producer Jeff Raskin reportedly went on the hunt Monday for the most pitiful-looking fuck willing to speak on camera about their political button collection.
End Of Section
  • More News
Up Next

Lieberman Defeated in Primary

Challenger Ned Lamont narrowly defeated conservative incumbent Joe Lieberman in the Connecticut Democratic primary. What do you think?
  • "I am happy to hear that Lieberman has decided to stay in the race as an independent. Sometimes voters are just being coy and don't really mean what they say."

    Alex Wilson Pension Planner
  • "Hooray! Ned Lamont won! My vote finally counted! Now, who is Ned Lamont?"

    Billy Vorlander Laser Printer Salesman
  • "Luckily, Lieberman can take comfort in the strong, able arms of George W. Bush. His gentle embrace will give solace, his warm lips succor. Lieberman will not suffer this grief alone."

    Leslie Waechter Purchasing Specialist

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

X Close