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The Onion’s 2017 Oscar Picks

The 89th Academy Awards features a more diverse slate of film and actor nominees than in past years, though the ceremony could still field #OscarsSoWhite criticism. Here are The Onion’s picks for who should take home the coveted Oscar statuettes:

A Timeline Of The EPA

A recently introduced House bill that would dissolve the Environmental Protection Agency questions the value of what this agency does and what its goals are. The Onion provides a timeline of the EPA’s 47-year history:
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Life Expectancy Falls

A study at the Harvard Global Health Initiative shows that, for a segment of the population, life expectancy is lower now that in was in the early '80s. What do you think?
  • "Wow, I'm glad my grandma died in the '80s!"

    Marvin Prieboy Makeup Salesperson
  • "Let's keep working to get it even lower. People over 30 make me sad."

    Kelly Ridgeway Systems Analyst
  • "Oh yeah? Well then how do you explain my mother, who was alive during both decades?"

    Richard Moreland Hunting Guide
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