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Life Spans Fall For Low-Educated Whites

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Voyager Probe Badly Damaged After Smashing Into End Of Universe

PASADENA, CA—Confirming that several components had broken off the craft and that most of its scientific instruments were no longer operational, officials from NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory announced that Voyager 1, the pioneering space probe launched in 1977, had been severely damaged Thursday after crashing into the end of the universe.

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SANTA MONICA, CA—Suggesting that the disastrous events of three months ago could have been averted, federal investigators stated Wednesday that a trove of leaked documents confirmed high-ranking studio executives had full knowledge of Gods Of Egypt long before the film was released onto unsuspecting Americans.Investigators described those who allowed such a screenplay to be carried out as “extremely sick and heartless individuals.”

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The Arguments For And Against Bernie Sanders Staying In The Race

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Life Spans Fall For Low-Educated Whites

While the lives of the nation’s most highly educated have lengthened, the life expectancy for white Americans without a high school diploma has, since 1990, dropped by five years for women and three years for men, to 73.5 and 67.5 respectively. What do you think?

  • “Being white is hard.”

    Alexander Zelenev Truck Stop Proprietor
  • “Maybe they live just as long as everyone else, but they can’t count the years.”

    Hannah Wheeler Risk Management Specialist
  • “How much education do you need to not die?”

    Carter Oswald Pedicab Driver

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