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Mom In Nightgown Mode

APPLETON, WI—Noting that the changeover occurred “right on schedule” after she had finished the dishes and watched TV for an hour or two, family sources confirmed Monday night that local mom Linda Rampling had officially transitioned into nightgown mode.

Car Rolls Up To Stoplight Blasting Google Maps Directions

HOUSTON—Attracting the attention of adjacent motorists and nearby pedestrians who turned their heads to see where the booming noise was coming from, a 2006 Ford Focus is said to have rolled up to a local stoplight Friday blaring Google Maps directions.

34-Year-Old Asks For Big Piece

MADISON, WI—Directing the server to the large square in the corner, local 34-year-old Matthew Hinke asked for a big piece of cake during a workplace birthday party, sources confirmed Tuesday.
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Lions, Tigers Killed In Ohio

After a man in Zanesville, OH released 56 exotic creatures—including lions, tigers, bears, and monkeys—and then took his own life, sheriff's deputies were forced to hunt down and in most cases kill the animals. What do you think?

  • "Will they be selling the meat? The man's, I mean. I could never eat an elephant."

    Brandi Washburn Systems Analust
  • "The guy could've killed two birds with one stone if he had just let the animals maul him a little on their way out."

    Lou Taylor Raveler
  • "'What kind of idiot opens a taxidermy shop in Zanesville?' they all said. Well, ha, ha, suckers!"

    Scott Ludington Taxidermist

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