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Islam: Myth Vs. Fact

In the wake of President Trump’s proposed immigration ban targeting largely Muslim countries, The Onion separates myth from fact regarding the religion of Islam.

Players To Watch In The Sweet 16

The 2017 NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament has provided thrilling upsets and amazing comebacks in the first two rounds. Onion Sports presents a guide to the 10 players to watch in the Sweet 16.

Archaeologists Uncover Last Human To Die Happy

DEMBECHA, ETHIOPIA—In a startling find that contributes significantly to the understanding of modern man’s evolutionary development, University of Edinburgh archaeologists working in Ethiopia’s Afar Region announced Wednesday that they have uncovered the preserved remains of the last human to die happy.
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Lohan Banned From Hotel For $46,000 Unpaid Bill

Actress Lindsay Lohan has been banned from the chic Chateau Marmont hotel in Hollywood, where she lived during June and July, after failing to pay $46,350 in accommodations charges, room service, restaurant tabs, and cigarette and mini-bar fees. What do you think?

  • “That’s why my wife and I always make sure to use our AAA discount whenever we spend a few months living at the Chateau Marmont.”

    Penny Moore Manicurist
  • “The pay-per-view movies are where they get you.”

    Charles Machione Offset Duplicating Machine Operator
  • “What a cruel thing to do to the Chateau Marmont. They’re still trying to dig themselves out of the financial hole left by F. Scott Fitzgerald.”

    Wes Pulido Fishing Guide
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