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A Timeline Of Abraham Lincoln’s Life

Every February, people across the the nation celebrate the legacy of Abraham Lincoln, widely considered to be one of America’s finest presidents. The Onion provides a timeline of the key moments in President Lincoln’s life:

Most Valuable Sports Memorabilia

Sports collectibles have skyrocketed in popularity over the past several decades, with sales of such items as game-worn jerseys and autographed rookie cards generating billions of dollars each year. Onion Sports examines the most sought-after and highly valued sports memorabilia in the world.

Nation Leery Of Very Odd Little Boy

WASHINGTON—Noting that there was something distinctly unnerving about his mannerisms, physical appearance, and overall demeanor, the nation confirmed Friday that it was leery of very odd 8-year-old Brendan Nault.

What You Need To Know About The Trump Administration’s Ties To Russia

New revelations from the U.S. intelligence community about potentially illegal communications between members of the Trump administration and Russian officials, which led to Michael Flynn resigning as national security advisor Monday, have increased calls for a wider investigation of Trump’s murky ties to Russia. Here’s what you need to know.
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Lohan Banned From Hotel For $46,000 Unpaid Bill

Actress Lindsay Lohan has been banned from the chic Chateau Marmont hotel in Hollywood, where she lived during June and July, after failing to pay $46,350 in accommodations charges, room service, restaurant tabs, and cigarette and mini-bar fees. What do you think?

  • “That’s why my wife and I always make sure to use our AAA discount whenever we spend a few months living at the Chateau Marmont.”

    Penny Moore Manicurist
  • “The pay-per-view movies are where they get you.”

    Charles Machione Offset Duplicating Machine Operator
  • “What a cruel thing to do to the Chateau Marmont. They’re still trying to dig themselves out of the financial hole left by F. Scott Fitzgerald.”

    Wes Pulido Fishing Guide
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