adBlockCheck

Recent News

National Zoo Announces Giant Pandas To Divorce

WASHINGTON—Assuring the public that the decision was difficult but the right thing to do for all parties involved, the Smithsonian National Zoological Park announced Friday that their giant pandas would be divorcing.

New Climate Change Report Just List Of Years Each Country Becomes Uninhabitable

GENEVA—Stating that the data published within its pages represented the scientific consensus of top researchers around the world, the U.N. Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change released its annual report this week, which consists solely of an alphabetized list of every country on earth and the years each of them will become uninhabitable.

Pros And Cons Of Electric Cars

With technology improving and more automobile companies releasing electric models, electric cars are becoming a common alternative for American consumers. Here are the pros and cons of electric vehicles.
End Of Section
  • More News

London Olympics Doesn't Have Enough Security Guards

Private security firm G4S informed British lawmakers that it would be unable to provide the 10,400 security guards it had promised for the upcoming summer Olympics, admitting that only 4,200 individuals had been trained as of Tuesday. What do you think?

  • “You wouldn’t have this kind of trouble in the United States, where the private sector runs everything with maximum efficiency.”

    Sara Lam Door Fitter
  • “At least they discovered this in time for everyone to be terrified during the games.”

    Emily Meadows Unemployed
  • “You know who had a lot of security guards at the Olympics? Hitler.”

    Phil Engel National Park Ranger

Sign up For The Onion's Newsletter

Give your spam filter something to do.

Close