Long Space Voyages May Damage Vision

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Grin Slowly Spreads Across Mom’s Face As Meal Revealed To Contain Healthy Ingredients

‘The Mashed Potatoes Are Actually Made With Cauliflower,’ She Announces

VERONA, WI—Having waited until everyone at the table had finished their dinner Monday, a knowing grin reportedly spread across local mother Angela Hopkins’ face as she announced to her family that the mashed potatoes had in fact been made using cauliflower as a healthier alternative.
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Local Household Announces Plans To Overdo Halloween Again

HIGHLAND PARK, IL—Having hauled over a dozen boxes of lights and plastic decorations as well as a large black-cat-shaped lawn inflatable from storage, members of the Hutchcroft family announced to neighbors from their front yard Thursday their plan to completely overdo Halloween again this year.

Long Space Voyages May Damage Vision

MRI scans of astronauts who have been on long space flights found evidence of intracranial hypertension, which could damage eyesight. What do you think?

  • “Not to diminish the wonder of space travel, but surely we can find cheaper and safer ways to blind astronauts here on Earth.”

    Mickey Jacildo
    Furniture Cleaner
  • "First pro football, now aerospace. What's a guy supposed to do for a living if he wants universal adulation without brain damage?"

    Jermaine Moorish
    Forge Utility Worker
  • "Can NASA not afford sunglasses anymore?"

    Darcy Cox