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Longer Work Day May Increase Heart Attack Risk

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NFL Vows To Fix Bottomless Pit On Levi’s Stadium Field Before Super Bowl

SANTA CLARA, CA—Following persistent safety concerns regarding the playing surface throughout the regular season, the NFL made firm assurances Friday to both the Denver Broncos and Carolina Panthers that the bottomless pit in the middle of the field at Levi’s Stadium will be fully repaired before Super Bowl 50.

Area Man Would Hate Cam Newton Even If He Was Different Minority

MURRAY, KY—Adamantly stressing that his disdain for the 26-year-old quarterback is not based on any racial prejudice toward African Americans, local 49-year-old Michael Willet told reporters Friday that he would hate Cam Newton even if the Carolina Panthers star was a different minority.

Monocle-Wearing Oil Baron’s Cigarette Holder Splinters In Clenched Teeth After Hearing Bernie Sanders’ Environmental Platform

GREENWICH, CT—Leaving him visibly seething as he sat in his tufted leather wingback chair in his study, monocle-wearing oil baron Frederick Porter Harriman’s ivory-inlaid cigarette holder reportedly splintered between his clenched teeth upon him hearing presidential candidate Bernie Sanders outline his environmental platform during Thursday night’s Democratic debate.
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Longer Work Day May Increase Heart Attack Risk

A new study revealed that people who worked 11 or more hours a day ran a 67 percent greater risk of having a heart attack than those who worked seven or eight hours a day. What do you think?

  • "On the other hand, if I put in those hours, not only can I make partner, but I'll also have saved enough to afford the bypass operation."

    Carl Licht
    Attorney
  • "I work 11 hours a day, but my boss only pays me for eight—what does that do to my heart?"

    Steve Magnuson
    Mechanic
  • "Yeah, but when I stop to think about it, shaving a few extra years off my life is a small price to pay to be able to enjoy the nonstop thrills and inner fulfillment of my normal 8-to-8 workday cold-calling elderly people and trying to persuade them to buy supplementary life insurance."

    Jean Kramer
    Insurance Salesperson

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