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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

Voter Fraud: Myth Vs. Fact

Concerns over fraudulent voting have grown since the 2016 election, with President Trump himself claiming that millions of people voted illegally. The Onion debunks some common myths about voter fraud.
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Los Angeles Has Hottest Day Ever

Following a very moderate summer, temperatures in Los Angeles reached an all-time high of 113 degrees Fahrenheit this week. What do you think?

  • "Then I'm glad my screenplay was rejected, because I'd hate to have to fly out and meet with all the big-time movie producers in that terrible heat!"

    Aric Hempel Writer
  • "I'll add L.A. to the list of places to wear my nice linen shirt."

    Charles Gavin Logging Marker
  • "Jeez, what's it going to take for the universe to finally succeed in killing off Jeff Goldblum?"

    Catherine Aivazian Unemployed

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Breaking: ACLU Hard As A Fucking Rock Right Now

NEW YORK—In response to President Trump’s declaration that transgendered Americans would no longer be permitted to serve in the military, the ACLU announced Wednesday that it was hard as a fucking rock right now.

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