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Area Man Convinced He Could Have Been NFL Bust

DES MOINES, IA—Insisting that he possessed the physical and mental attributes to be one of the most disappointing draft picks of all time, local man Keith Parker, 34, was reportedly convinced Thursday that he could have been an NFL bust.

Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean

‘Please Try To Keep It This Way,’ Say Workers

WASHINGTON—After spending years sweeping and scrubbing across all 50 states, the nation’s sanitation workers announced Thursday that everything was finally clean and asked Americans if they could please keep it that way.
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Lost Pyramids Found On Google Earth?

After scouring images from the global-mapping program Google Earth, blogger Angela Micol of North Carolina believes she may have found two previously unknown pyramid complexes in Egypt, though experts argue the structures may be little more than eroded hills. What do you think?

  • “I think her work demands further investigation with Street View.”

    Cynthia Locey Rope Cleaner
  • “That reminds me: I found a bunch of pyramids all up and down the Appalachians."

    Benny Yang Systems Analyst
  • “That’s funny, because just this morning I also found something on Google.”

    Ray Murata Warehouse Supervisor

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